I Want You, But I Can't Have You
by MrsSmithySmith
Summary: An expansion on 'To be in your arms again"...


I took a chapter from 'To be in your arms again" by GerryBsGrrl and expanded on one part, I have used the characters and the storyline from that story.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Proposal or the characters.

Please R&R. (:

Pairing: Andrew Paxton and Margaret Tate.

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"I'm sorry baby. You won't have a father, but you will have me. I promise." I lay there on the floor and cried. I had lost everyone and everything.

I arrived at the office early the next day; so I could speak with Jack and Edwin about something personal. Honestly, today was going to be difficult for me. Once Andrew got here, I was going to tell him the truth. I was going to end my suffering and end this game we played. I finished my talk with Jack and Edwin then I walked into his office and sat on the couch. Memories flooded my mind from the night we had sex on this couch. I don't think I will ever forget it. I rubbed my now swollen belly. The past month I had really started showing. I was now 6 months pregnant. James had broken up with me a little over two months ago. I just didn't bother telling anyone, especially not Andrew. People began to notice I was pregnant last month, and I lied and told them James was the father. I even lied to Andrew, something I had never done before. I had become good at this game of lying and running away from things. He walked into his office and I stood up.

"Morning Margaret. How was your weekend?"

"James and I broke up."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Why did he break up with you?"

I just stared at the floor. This was so hard. I hoped I'd never have to go through anything like this again.

"I can't do this anymore. We need to talk."

"What do you mean by you can't do this anymore? Margaret, what is going on?"

"Andrew I'm sorry. I haven't been completely honest with you or with anyone lately. I was afraid to tell you this because I realized how much you loved Sarah."

"Tell me what?"

"James and I broke up about two months ago, when he found out I was pregnant. We were supposed to be pretending to be together to make you jealous, but things happened and we slept together."

"So you lied to me to make me jealous?"

"I'm not finished. When he figured it out, that I was pregnant, he left me. He knows the baby I'm carrying is not his." I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. This had to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, aside from leaving Andrew at the altar last year.

"Then whose is it Margaret?" I tried my best to avert my eyes from his, and it was proving difficult.

"Margaret? Look at me." I ignored his request and wiped away the continuous flow of tears that dripped down my face. "Look at me, Margaret." I gave in completely and looked him straight in the eye. "Whose baby is it?"

I felt my eyes well up again, and tears drizzled down my face once more. "... Yours..." There was a complete silence; Andrew's face was emotionless. Nothing I could see to tell if he cared. Then he finally spoke up, after what seemed like hours...

"My child? I don't understand... How?... When?"

"You should know the only time Andrew. When else have we slept together?"

"Oh god... That night here in the office... and we had-" I watched as he pushed his hands through his hair.

"Sex? Yeah." I wasn't stuttering in my words now, but I was still crying.

"Yeah... That!"

"I'm truly sorry Andrew. This wasn't supposed to happen to either of us."

"Well that's alright then."

"Will you _please _calm down Andrew! I'm the one this is happening to. You have your wife and 2 kids of your own on the way. I'm going to be all alone, because you're with her."

"Margaret... I-I'm sorry. I want to be there for you, I really do. But that means that Sarah-"

"It means that Sarah would have to know the truth about us right?"

"Yeah." I gazed into his eyes with a look of sorrow and despair.

"I'm still in love with you Andrew... and I can't have you now. All we can do now is be friends, but I can no longer be your assistant. It's too hard to see you every day, and _not _be able to kiss you. It hurts, not being able to touch you, and have you hold me in your arms, and tell me everything's going to be ok."

"I don't understand. So that's it? You can't get what you want so you just quit?" He was furious. I could tell. He didn't care that I was carrying his child or care about my love for him; he was more worried about me not wanting to be his assistant anymore. I want to stay more than anything, but staying would involve seeing him every day, and I can't do it much longer.

"Yeah. Andrew that's the end of it."

"NO. Margaret it's not. You're having _my_ baby for god sake's. You can't just walk out of my life again, not now."

"Why do you have to make this much more difficult than it already is?"

"It's not exactly the most simple of situation's Margaret. I've got two women pregnant, do you have any idea how stressful that is?"

"No I don't suppose I do. But I'm stuck in this as well. It's not just you. We both caused this."

"I don't know, what you want me to say anymore Margaret. What can I do?"

"You can tell me, that you'll be there for me. Hug me once in a while."

"I can't be there for you properly, Sarah would get suspicious and you know that."

"Look, whether you like it or not. This is your child that I'm carrying. Just remember that in three months, when _our _child is born." I was fixing for the door, but I felt his gentle hands clenching on my arm.

"I don't want you to go." Suddenly he pushed his lips onto mine. The kiss we were sharing was deep and meaningful, but I knew I had to stop him.

"Andrew... you can't expect to just kiss me, and think I'll fall at your feet. It doesn't work like that, not for us."

"I love you Margaret." I felt like crying again, but I knew it wouldn't help me.

"Go home to your wife Andrew. You love her; you only feel lust for me."

"That's not true. I _never _stopped loving you."

"But it is true Andrew. You're with Sarah now, and nothing is going to change that. I can't fight for you anymore."

"Yes you can, fight for me Margaret. I love you, and I want to be with you."

"It's too hard for a six month pregnant woman to handle Andrew. I can't take the stress much longer. That's why I'm leaving here."

"I'm so sorry."

"... I know you are. But if you really loved me, then you would have left Sarah, and you can't even do that, can you?" I'd got him, the speechless question he couldn't bring himself to answer. "Like I said Andrew, its lust you feel for me, not love."

I grabbed my purse and a box of my things then walked out of the building. I was running away from him again. Only this time, there was gonna be no going back. I took a taxi to my apartment. Once I got home I sat down and reflected on the events that had just occurred. I really love him, and I'm letting him go again...

What the hell just happened? I sat at my desk frustrated and furious. Margaret was pregnant with my baby? I ran my hands through my hair. I felt like banging my head against my desk. Everything began to make sense now. How could I be so stupid? Margaret is pregnant because of me and she's been trying to tell me this all along. She loved me. My wife and my ex/assistant were both pregnant, by me. What was it about Margaret that made me, _madly in love _with her?

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If you liked it please review. I'll have more stories posted soon.


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